We took a long walk yesterday along the water. We found all the battleships resting in the navy´s port and we found some small rocky beaches. The waves poured against the shore and ran through the stones back to the ocean, creating a sound similar to a wet rain stick.
After we had walked as far as we wanted we turned around and decided to go up through the hills to come home. So, we were walking, walking, everything seemed fine. Then somehow we ended up at a dead end being barked at by two unfriendly dogs. This was a sign. Most street dogs in Valpo are too lazy and beaten down by city life to bark. These two extremely territorial dogs sent the message to all their friends in the neighborhood and every single dog on the hill was barking at us. We headed down and out of the barrio as quick as we could. The street below felt more safe. It was busier, more open. But alas, as we walked quickly we heard two sets of quicker feet and as soon as we turned around to see who it was some hijo de puta (excuse my Spanish) grabbed me, cut my fanny pack off my hip with a knife and ran up the hill into some house.
Luckily I had moved my credit card into my bra as soon as we had the run in with the dogs. The only thing the thieves got away with was some chap stick and a broken camera with a smashed view finder which I had accidentally stepped on back in April. Stupid thieves. I´m glad that robbing me was a financial waste of time.When it happened I was a bit shook up, but honestly just a bit. I was more angry than anything. Now at least Jameson and I know to advise our guests to be careful, even in the daytime and to not carry their passports or money with them. Or if they do, to keep it tucked away in their shoes.
During our walk we saw a sea gull with a broken wing wash up on shore. It was struggling for life, and tripped its way to the dry stones in the sun away from the tide. It was hard to watch, but nature is not as compassionate as I. If the birds wings do not dry and its unable to take off, it will be easy food. For a crustacean, a lobo marino or other birds. That's nature, survival. Its not cruel or uncompassionate, just part of life.
After the robbery happened I thought of the sea gull.Out of place, easy to take advantage of, consumed by a rat.Its part of nature. It could happen anywhere.Some animals have no compassion.
That night we went to a street fiesta put on by a traveling clown troop. It was great, one guy had a balloon animal mask of a monkey and he was shooting balloon animals into the crowd as they danced.
Last night I dreamt of the robbery. My subconscious played through all of the scenarios. Myself, running after him. Fighting him, winning, losing. I woke up a dozen times trying to shake what makes us animals, those protective instincts, the violence which I believe we should evolve out of. I'm sure it didn't help that I watched the last half of Martin Scorses´s "Cape Fear" last night before I went to sleep.
I´ve recently adopted a more thorough form of pacifism; that of no form violence is acceptable violence. Restraint yes, protection yes, but there is a difference between an action to merit an escape from a bad situation, and an action to try and dominate it. Some argue that peace is unnatural, that our natural world, even down to the weather, doesn´t seek peace. Whether this is true or not, nature also doesn´t seek cures for diseases, it doesn´t show compassion to the underprivileged, it fights with other males to determine who will sleep with the female, consensual or not. We have evolved beyond certain pack animal traditions already, and yet violence is still glorified, still conditioned.
I´m not unhappy about the robbery, no one was hurt, only material things have been removed from our possession, replaceable things, and I am put to test. To examine why my mind defaults to alpha male thoughts, I suppose that is the only fight I want to win.